I will be 34 weeks tomorrow. Norah will be here before we know it. I figured that the closer we got to the due date (but I mean really, how many moms actually have the baby on the due date!) the more nervous I would become. But on the contrary, I have felt more secure and confident in the works of God now than ever before in this pregnancy.
Though reading books will not provide all the knowledge I need for taking care of a newborn, it has proved helpful to soak in so much from various sources. Surprisingly, I found Bringing Up Bébé to be a great read. Maybe I don’t so much see as American mothers doing it wrong and Parisian mothers doing it correctly, but I do believe that Druckerman brings so light many of the fallacies that “Anglophone” mothers often believe and follow due the society we live in. Let’s just say that I look gladly at Norah “doing her nights” at four months as many French women expect their babies to do early on.
I think what I have enjoyed most about pregnancy is that I have seen more of my wretchedness and God’s grace towards me. Even the most beautiful of seasons cannot veil the darkest corners of my heart. A new life growing in me will not fulfill me or cause me to “arrive” in my sanctification. I have fought with God over the sin of desperately wanting to control EVERYTHING throughout the majority of this pregnancy. Too often I fall under the impression that I really do know what is best…and not in the sense that I have just resolved certain things from a very Biblical view after lengthy communion with God. I am quick to assume for others and myself what is best and when the best does not occur then I am physically and spiritually frustrated. My whole body cringes when what I planned does not go accordingly. God has gently at times and ferociously at other times shown me this sin. Thank God that He does not leave us to ourselves.