Here I sit, a mommy with a darling baby girl. I can honestly say that the past few weeks of motherhood have mustered in me a deep need for God. When Norah is inconsolable, I need Jesus. When I’m not sure exactly what to do to take of her in a certain way, I need Jesus. When I need rest for my physical body, I need Jesus. When I need patience with Josh and a repentant heart for my own blindness, I need Jesus. It has been increasingly worshipful to have my prayers articulated with a glorious expectancy that God will really come to my rescue. He is always before me! I am overwhelmed with the joy that God has given me when I look into Norah’s eyes and ask Him to save her soul soon. Josh and I desperately long for this, and I don’t want a day to pass where we do not pray to that end. Though she has been entrusted as our daughter here on this earth, we want her as a sister in the Body of Christ. We want her to see the glory of Christ that we have seen, which is only a glimpse of what we will see when we are resurrected. She is here for God’s glory and nothing else.
Motherhood is my calling. It is not something I will complain about with other mother’s at the grocery store, agreeing that we cannot wait for them to move out of the house and be on their own. It is not something that should be used to boost my own persona. It is my sanctification. It is the gospel being made manifest to me. Even more, it is God redeeming His creation. He WILL make all things new. That being said, Lord willing, Norah will grow to walk in this world and experience brokenness and the effects of her own depravity. She will see the earth’s groaning due to The Fall. She will experience dark nights of the soul. She will have idols in her heart. She will be hardened to God and others at some point. BUT GOD. BUT GOD!! HE will demonstrate His power in her life in one way or another, and I pray that she is used as a vessel of light and not of destruction. I pray that her heart will be turned towards being a minister of reconciliation, concerned with telling of the God that has saved her soul. I pray that she may long for the glory of Christ, that the glory of the world may become dimmer and dimmer inevitably making the face of Jesus more and more beautiful.
Norah Grace. What a glorious gift. What a high calling.