I often reach a point in my day where I have about had it, the decaf coffee has worn off (yes I really try and convince myself there are some affects from it) and the positivity that comes with a new day and a bright shining sun has dimmed. There I sit in some situation, whether it be my toddler screaming while she is supposed to be napping because she’s mimicking our newborn son crying or attempting to conquer the dishes and laundry with much anticipation that it will be accomplished only to be interrupted by a hungry Owen or a not-so-sleepy Norah.
When I consider this word and it’s placement in my mind in the light of God’s Word, I stand corrected and with a heart of repentance. You see, my cure-all will never be getting what I want to come to pass because that’s not always what my soul needs. Motherhood is not marked by task completion but rather, investment to the souls I’ve been given to raise up in the ways of the Lord.
Dishes, laundry, computer work, bills, etc. yes they need to be taken care of as that is part of home management, BUT when they don’t get completed at the time I had wanted, my kingdom should not be shattered. However, when it is, the root of the issue is that I’ve made it about my kingdom rather than God’s. Paul Tripp wrote a marriage book that has greatly impacted my and Josh’s marriage. He discusses the shattering of our personal kingdoms when we feel hurt by our spouses. More often than not, it’s not an affront to the kingdom of God that we are hurt by. This is the same in motherhood.
Where do I turn in the midst of my shattering kingdom?
1 Timothy 2:5
For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus
My answer is not getting my way throughout the day. That will not reconcile the chaos. It is inevitable for things to go outside of how I’ve planned. That’s life with babies!
My answer is Jesus Christ. When I have sinned against God and found my personal preferences more pertinent than gospel-centrality, I return to this one truth: there is but one mediator between me and God. Jesus and his substitutionary work on the cross, purchasing my redemption by his blood, has completed all work necessary for me to be eternally saved and able to experience fullness of joy. That can transform my thoughts from my kingdom to God’s kingdom. That will demonstrate the greatest reality to my children.
Oh that bible-intake will be increasingly more to me so that communing with God in the middle of the chaos will be my answer!